"I am going to be okay."

Anxiety: "Something bad is going to happen and I better be always prepared."

OCD: "A specific bad thing is going to happen and it is my fault."

Panic Attack: "I cannot escape and am going to die!"

My complex trauma history has meant I have experienced all the above too many times to count. About 1 in 5 American adults experience an anxiety disorder each year. The reason why anxiety disorders are so prevalent, especially now, is because so few of us get to experience Social Engagement System (SES) functioning.

When our nervous systems are in the Social Engagement System state our bodily functions are working optimally which allows for executive functioning. We are particularly prone to experiencing Fight/Flight followed by Shut-down when we are alone since there is no one to co-regulate with. Co-regulation allows for a nervous system who is dysregulated to experience SES from interacting with a trusted person in SES.

When in Social Engagement System functioning, you may for the first time feel like “I am going to be okay” (despite what hardships come my way). John Lennon said: “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” Feeling like “I am going to be okay” can feel revolutionary for those of us who could not trust our primary caregivers and/or could not trust our bodies because of early health issues.

In both Fight/Flight and Shut-down where most of us live much of the time, the focus is on trying to find safety. The right brain hemisphere which controls emotions and nonverbal communication tends to be much more active than the left brain which manages language and logic during Fight/Flight and Shut-down experiences. However, Social Engagement System experiences allow for optimal communication between the left and right brain hemispheres that promote the many benefits of executive functioning including task initiation, planning, and organization.

The more time we spend in Social Engagement System functioning the more we feel we can handle the changing waves of life. We can ride increasingly bigger waves because our capacity to handle more stress has increased the more time we spend in SES. Said in another way we can confidently explore further from the womb when in SES because we know when and how to reach for support. Rumi said: "As you start to walk on the way, the way appears."

Chi for Two® invites somatic movement practices that are designed to promote Social Engagement System functioning, first with the Chi for Two Embodiment Coach. Over time, the somatic practices can help people experience SES on their own and with other people. Chi for Two Embodiment Coaches help people learn to trust their bodies above all else so healthy boundaries are consistently communicated which promotes safety. The Chi for Two practices “Elbow Push,” “Knowing No,” “Saying No” and “Sound Expression” foster safety in each interaction. Chi for Two defines safety as being able to stop an interaction, at any time, for any reason.

© 2024 Kristin Smith, somatictherapyandhealing.com All rights reserved.